Q: Where the hell is my order?  I Placed my order 20 minutes ago, and its still not here!!!

A: We are musicians. We run our own store, because that way we get to keep all the money. This isn’t greed, there really isn’t that much money!

The down side is, we don’t ship everything the second you order, we ship it once a week when the band gets together and packages up your CD’s, t-shirt, and Stripy Socks, and mail it to you…buy hand...all while trying to stay sober enough to keep going. And the whole time, Nathaniel keeps sawing on that damn violin of his...

Oh, my head! Pass the rum!

Q: I bought Vault Access 5 seconds ago, and I don't instantly have my password! WTF!

A: Okay, so the vault of the Ophelia was not made by Apple, Microsoft, or even Wallmart. It was actually made by a bunch of down on their luck track layers in 1903, under the instruction of Dr. Leguminous Calgori, but I digress.

My point is when you buy vault access, a little machine in the vault of the Ophelia rights a note, and sticks the note in a capsule, and sticks the capsule in a tube. The tube is pressurized on one side, and this causes the capsule to shoot through the tube, go up three floors, and spit out into a basket next to my bed in the captains quarters.

If I happen to be in my bunk at that time, I send you your password. Other wise, you wait.

Sorry, but look on the bright side, we ain’t Wallmart!

Q: Do i have to use PayPal?

A: Nope!

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